randomness

* hero/villain/hero who elicits pity and fear. i love the ambiguity. i love the idea of playing up the ambiguity. to the extreme. i've been watching The Wire (again...). the ambiguity towards the characters is so confusing and uncomfortable and i love it so so much. like ziggy sobotka for example... to me, he is a great example of pity and fear both, at the same time, he's fucked, but its not his fault, but he has killed a man, but its a Bad Man, but its not his fault, but of course its his fault, but it didn't have to go this way, but it DID go this way, but he seems like an okay dude, but he is a Murderer, but he is Sorry and doesn't belong in prison, but he KILLS PEOPLE. i love that this character makes me so confused. this sort of thing is what i see our hero/villain/hero doing.

* also this related to my earlier comment about being thrown. this can be very ambiguous. a Bad Person being thrown is a good thing, but he/she will bleed a lot and break bones, which is unpleasant. unless she is turned to stone first, in which case, she will Destroy whatever she lands on (i hope its not me). but she deserves it, or does she? she will fly (which is beautiful), she will land hard (which is destructive), and she will come to rest (which is peaceful). if she is stone, maybe she will be immortalized there forever. like a monument. but do we want to remember her? do we?